The Marriage of Tommy & Andrea
Let’s begin.
Family, friends, associates, Badgers, Hamsters, Goats, and Huskies…welcome to the marriage of Tommy and Andrea. I say the “marriage” instead of the “wedding” because, although this IS their wedding, it is also the first day of their marriage to one another: a day that we are all a part of, many of us having known them since before the dawn of their relationship five years ago. We watched it grow from a mutual awkwardness about Camp Scholler’s shower etiquette and random golf cart accidents into the symbol of their love and commitment happening before us today. While some people may have been skeptical of their relationship in the beginning, I am certain that all of us here today will agree with what Jim Gray said shortly after they started dating, “You know, when you think about it, the two of them really do make sense.”
So, how about we get these two married already?
| I, Tommy, take you, Andrea,
To be my lawfully wedded wife, To be your partner and friend, And your life-long roommate, No matter what direction life takes us. I promise to always love you, honor you, and respect you, And to always plan a daring rescue, |
I, Andrea, take you, Tommy,
To be my lawfully wedded husband, To be your partner and friend, And your life-long roommate, No matter what direction life takes us. I promise to always love you, honor you, and respect you, And to remind you to close your eyes, |
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| Together: I promise that I will never give you up…I will never let you down…I will never run around and desert you…that I will never make you cry…that I will never say good bye…that I will never tell a lie or hurt you.
Ladies and gentlemen, by the power vested in me by the management of KVSC, the Goat Posse, and the State of Minnesota, I now pronounce you, Tommy and Andrea, of the House Balistreri, the first of their name, King and Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Lord and Lady of the Seven Kingdoms, Protectors of the Realm, and – most importantly – husband and wife.Tommy, you may kiss the bride. |
Thanks so much to our officiant, Michael Jamnick!